


Crown of Thorns

by diddlydang



Series: The Ferdibert Collection [12]
Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Getting Together, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Unreliable Narrator, no beta we die like Glenn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-07
Updated: 2020-01-07
Packaged: 2021-02-27 05:07:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,057
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22151536
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/diddlydang/pseuds/diddlydang
Summary: Huffing, Ferdinand crossed his arms and turned his nose up in the air, “I don’t recall any enemies trying to compliment me, Hubert.”“You and I remember our time at Garreg Mach very differently then,” Hubert teased him. “If everything is in order, and I truly cannot convince you to return to Enbarr…” He trailed off and raised an eyebrow.“Later.” Ferdinand promised. “When everything here has settled down. I'll come back then.”
Relationships: Ferdinand von Aegir/Hubert von Vestra
Series: The Ferdibert Collection [12]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1480094
Comments: 17
Kudos: 360





	Crown of Thorns

**Author's Note:**

> 2 fics in one week? yes
> 
> to the shock of nobody, it's another one where Ferdinand is having a rough time™
> 
> yall know my flavor of angst at this point

The war is over. 

Hubert smiled at him, black hair whipping around his face as the fire roars around them. It’s one of the few times Ferdinand’s able to see both of his eyes clearly, and all he can think at this moment is how handsome Hubert is.

“We won?” Ferdinand asked.

“Yes,” Hubert confirmed, voice light in a way Ferdinand had never heard. “We won.”

  
  


\---

It’s strange to be working in his father’s office. He remembers being in it as a child, running in to see what his father was doing. 

Ferdinand smiled, wistful, before running his fingers along the desk. It was a simpler time, one where he did not understand what his father was like and everything felt simpler.

His good opinion of his father may not have lasted long, but he mourns the loss of it.

“Is everything up to your standard?” A low voice came from behind him. He turned and nodded at Hubert, letting his hand fall away from the table. 

“I thought you were only Minister of the Imperial Household?” Ferdinand can’t help but tease. “I don’t believe I’m under your purview.”

Hubert chuckled, “I’ll take it under advisement, Prime Minister.”

“Strange to hear you call me that.”

“Even stranger for me to say it. I assure you.” Hubert said. He looked around the room, wincing at the over-the-top embellishments Ferdinand’s father had. “Your father’s estate in Enbarr is still available, you realize?”

Ferdinand’s already thought of that, “I know. But I believe I must tend to the people of Aegir. They have not had an easy time, going from my father into a war.” He paused, “For a short while, at least. After…”

“After?” Hubert continued. Ferdinand thought Hubert might sound a little hopeful, but it’s all too likely he’s projecting his own feelings onto him. Still, it’s a comforting thought. “You’ll come to Enbarr?”

“Marquis Vestra, if you aren’t careful, I’ll start thinking you want me around!” Ferdinand laughed to himself. 

Hubert, however, isn’t laughing. “There are worse things.”

_‘Be still my weak heart,’_ Hubert must remember to stick to the writing rule. He'll send Ferdinand to an early grave otherwise. “Hubert-”

That earns him an eye-roll. “Surely that wasn’t enough to warrant a letter.”

“It was close.” Ferdinand allowed. “You should know my heart is beating dangerously fast.” Hubert laughed and Ferdinand smacked him on the shoulder. “You dare mock my health like that?”

“I’m wondering how you made it through the war when you nearly faint every time I compliment you.” Hubert shook his head as he said so.

Huffing, Ferdinand crossed his arms and turned his nose up in the air, “I don’t recall any enemies trying to compliment me, Hubert.”

“You and I remember our time at Garreg Mach very differently then,” Hubert teased him. “If everything is in order, and I truly cannot convince you to return to Enbarr…” He trailed off and raised an eyebrow.

“Later.” Ferdinand promised. “When everything here has settled down. I'll come back then.”

“Then I’ll be on my way. As you said, I’m Minister of the Imperial Household. You’re merely the Prime Minister.” Hubert bowed, bending over his waist. Ferdinand feels faintly mocked by it. “Farewell, Ferdinand. Until next time.”

Ferdinand watched Hubert leave, heart feeling light. 

He thinks everything will be alright. 

\---

Ferdinand has his knights survey the damage over the territory. 

It’s extensive, but not irreversible. From his estimation, he thinks it’ll recover fully in a few short years. His plan is to stay and oversee the recovery for a few months, maybe a year, and then see about moving to Enbarr. 

Parts of the land are scorched, other areas had been plundered by bandits during the knights' absence. There’s some abandoned battlefields that need to be cleaned, but those are few and far in between. Aegir’s deep location in the Empire kept it relatively safe from outside threats. 

All in all, it’s relatively mild in terms of it being caused in a five-year conflict. It could have been far worse. He knows Bergliez and Varley both sustained more than this, even if not by much.

It helps that he’s motivated to work faster, if only to see Hubert sooner.

\---

_ Ferdinand, _

_It’s been two weeks without you coming to pester me into taking a tea break with you. You’ll no doubt be unbearably smug to hear this, but I find that I miss it. I don’t know how you’ve managed it, Ferdinand, but you’ve made it to where I miss - _the miss is underlined once, and the pen stroke looks aggressive, as if showing how bothered the sender was _\- someone bothering me._

_Enbarr seems different without you. Lady Edelgard agrees, but maybe she is talking of how there’s no one who enjoys challenging her authority now. Do not tell her I said so, but I think she might miss it. _

_(I meant that. If you tell her, I will know.)_

_So, for the betterment of this nation, I ask you to once again reconsider moving to Enbarr. Or at least accomplish whatever it is you’re doing faster._

_Best regards,_

_H.V_

~

_Dear Hubert,_

_Little did you know, that was my cunning plan this entire time! I am gardened to see it worked; it took me many years to finally get you to crack, and I wasn’t even sure if I had managed it until now! How gracious of you to tell me._

_Let Edelgard know that I have many debates planned for the future. There are many ideas I have to replace the outdated systems that have governed this country, and I would like to hear her thoughts. And yours, of course._

_I cannot rush the process of recovery, it is a delicate process. Even so, I will let you know that I am working as swiftly as possible (and taking breaks, which I hope you are as well!) to ensure that Aegir is safely on its way to its normal self._

_Sincerely,_

_Ferdinand von Aegir_

\---

He’s working when the door to his office is flung open, an upset woman storming through. One of his staff, a knight by the name of Charles, is trying to stop her. 

“Duke Aegir!” The name nearly caused Ferdinand to flinch, “I-”

“Prime Minister, I’m sorry. I tried to stop her, but-” Ferdinand waved a hand to stop him. 

“It’s fine,” Ferdinand said. He turned his attention back to the woman. “You have something to tell me?”

“Do you have any idea what your war has cost?”

“Yes, I would like to think so. I wouldn’t support a war that costly without considering the repercussions.”

Evidently, the wrong thing to say. The rage in her face only grows, twisted in fury. “Oh, you’ve considered them, have you?” She snapped, “Did you consider what you were doing when you took all your knights and put them in the army? Did you realize that you were leaving everyone here defenseless?”

He’d known that would happen. But - 

“Milady, I didn’t make that call. I held no authority as Prime Minister. No one did.” He tried explaining. “In times of war, they call all knights from their respective lands to serve the Crown.”

The only serves to make her angrier. “I bet you didn’t even try to argue it, though, did you? You didn’t even think about what that would do to the common people. I bet you thought anything adding to your ‘war effort’ was good!”

_‘She’s right,'_ He realized. Ferdinand is ashamed to admit he’d been working along those lines. For the war to be won, for the Church to be crushed, they’d needed any able-bodied solder to join in. Sacrifices, while sad, were necessary. 

Charles, who had enough of this, grabbed the woman and took her out of the room. It didn’t stop her from screaming profanities at Ferdinand. He could take insults, but it’s the last thing she said that struck him. “You’re ruining us just like your father did!”

The silence is deafening. He stared at the doorway until Charles reappeared in it, expression ashamed. “I shouldn’t have let her come in.”

“No,” Ferdinand said. He felt like he could finally see everything with a sudden clarity. “It’s good that you did. She made some good points.”

Ferdinand had fumbled in figuring out what his purpose was. It went from exposing his father to guiding Edelgard, before he’d thought he’d finally settled on following the path laid out before him. The Imperial Army had given him that purpose. It was easy, going from battle to battle, leading his men.

He was good at it. Ferdinand had been raised practicing every weapon there was. The role of command was easy for him to assume. Edelgard gave good orders and he executed them. 

Easy. 

But the war is over now. His purpose had to change again. The time for generals and fighting was gone.

His duty was to the people. That is what a good Prime Minister remembered. 

_‘...just like your father did!’_

Ferdinand interlaced his fingers and rested his chin on them. He closed his eyes.

_‘Father forgot what his role was, too.’_

He didn’t like the similarity. That didn’t mean he can deny its existence. 

“Sir?” Charles asked. He sounded far away. “Are you feeling alright?”

Ferdinand opened his eyes. He looked around the study, the very same his father used. “I feel fine, my friend.” He dropped his hands and tapped his fingers along the desk. Remembering his father doing the same thing with a vividness, he stopped. “I think I have simply realized something.”

Charles shifted, the poor man clearly at a loss. “May I ask what that would be, Sir?”

“My duty, my only duty, is to the people.” Ferdinand said. He stood and gathered the personal letters that he’d been sent. His friends, they hadn’t liked him when he was like this, during the academy. Ferdinand knows they won’t like him again. Duke Aegir was different from General Aegir. “From now on, disregard any letters of personal nature.”

“Sir?”

Ferdinand handed the stack to Charles, ignoring the pain in his heart as he does so. “Do with these what you will. I need to work. Let the rest of the staff know as well.”

Thankfully, Charles didn’t argue. Ferdinand could tell he wanted to. Instead, he took the letters and left. Ferdinand sat back down. 

He breathed.

Then he opened the desk and started going through all of Father’s old records.

\---

He’s horrified by what he finds. Hrym taxed to the point of collapse so his father could line his pockets. It’s disgusting and made him nauseous. 

But that’s not the bad part. Ferdinand had long known Father to be a greedy man. It was a fact that couldn’t be disputed. It’s the sealed records that included details on the Insurrection of the Seven which horrified him. 

Ferdinand now knew why Hubert hated him during the Academy. For what his father had allowed to be done. What his father did to Edelgard, the entire Imperial family, to secure his power. Shady deals with unknown people, becoming a traitor to the land he swore to protect just so he could -

He’s too disgusted to even finish the thought. Ferdinand doesn’t understand why Edelgard even tolerated him. She merely allowed his existence.

Ferdinand has much to make up for, for both him and his father. It’s a slippery slope, trying to help instead of ruining. 

How far does this ignorance spread? It’s hard to see the picture when you’ve been blinded your entire life, but he’s trying.

\---

  
  


“You have more letters, Prime Minister.”

Ferdinand doesn’t bother looking up from the letter we were already reading - “Put it in the stack, if you would.”

“It’s not a work manner, Sir,” said the messenger, “It’s from Dorothea Arnault.”

“Oh,” Ferdinand looked up, “Did Charles not tell everyone that I won’t be taking personal mail?”

“He did,” She said, “But, and we mean this respectfully, you’ve looked miserable for the past few weeks, Sir. The rest of the staff and I think you could use some cheering.”

Ferdinand didn’t deserve such kind people. He gave her a smile, “That’s very kind of you.”

“But you still don’t want it?”

“No, thank you.” Ferdinand returned his attention to his desk. “I appreciate you and everyone looking out for me, but everything is fine.”

He couldn’t stand to see what Dorothea had written. She had known him to be bad, another no-good nobleman that cared little for others. Surely she’d see now that she’d been right about him, that her change of heart was wrong. 

Yes, she must have realized it.

It’s selfish of him to ignore it, to want to perserve the friendship he’d craved for so long, he knows this. But he’d break if he read those harsh words. It’s easier this way, to push it aside and pretend everything is fine. Tell everyone he’s doing it because he’s busy instead of being scared. 

As a general, he’d been told he was brave. Sitting here in his father’s office - _his_ office, he amended - he’s never felt like more of a coward.

\---

Ferdinand worked himself for nearly a week straight before he collapsed from exhaustion. He really should have expected it, all things considered. 

_‘Duke Aegir,’ someone says, “The plan is going according to plan. The Emperor’s children have been given to the appropriate parties. The Emperor is effectively useless. "_

_“Good,” He hears himself say, “The other Ministers did their job, I presume?”_

_“Yes, Sir.” They respond. “The plan was carried out perfectly.”_

_He dismisses them, the glee that he feels is a slimy thing._

_‘A nightmare where I am Father,’ Ferdinand thinks, ‘How disgusting. I pray he wasn’t this happy in real life._

_In the dream, he turned in his office, thinking of all the things he would be bringing to Enbarr when he passes a mirror._

_When he looked in the mirror, it’s not his father that he sees. It’s him._

His eyes open. He’s in his bed, Charles watching over him. He looked surprised to see Ferdinand awake, happiness taking over as he yelled, “Melissa! He’s woken up!”

Another staff member - a nurse, Ferdinand would assume - runs in and starts checking over him. Ferdinand laid there, feeling numb. “How long was I out?”

“Nearly a day, milord.” Melissa said. Her and Charles look at each other. “You should rest for at least another.”

“No.” He swung his legs over the side of the bed, ignoring the protests from both parties. His vision swam for a moment before clearing. “I’ve lost enough time already.”

“Surely whatever you’re doing can wait?” Charles asked, “The war has ended. You deserve a brief respite. You’re working yourself into the ground!”

“Sir Charles, you were there when that woman came. You know that people still suffer. I need to-” He got up, only to need to grab Charles for support. “- I need to help.”

“Respectfully, Sir, I have to agree with the doctor.”

“Your concern is noted,” Ferdinand said. “Help me back to my office, would you?”

“Yes, Sir.” Charles agreed, although the disapproval is clear in his voice. 

\---

Two weeks later, Charles comes in, “A letter from Her Imperial Majesty, Sir.”

“Ah, good. Thank you.” Ferdinand opens it and scans the contents. A meeting of the Cabinet, it would seem. Good, Ferdinand has a few things he’d like to bring up in light of everything.

It seems he’s heading back to Enbarr. 

His gut twisted when he thought about Hubert. His feelings were hopeless, doomed to fail from the start. 

\---

Ferdinand showed arrived in Enbarr a day before the meeting started, only going to the Palace the day of. 

He’s on his way to the meeting room when he spotted Hubert waiting outside of it. Shoving down the dread he felt, - _'he hates you he hates you he hates you'_ \- he continued walking. “Ferdinand,” Hubert greeted, “You’ve been well, I assume?”

“Yes. Yourself?”

“I have been well.” Hubert said, “You're here a little late, aren’t you? I thought you’d be happy to have a reason to come home.”

“A change in priorities, you understand.” They walked into the room together. They’re the only ones present. “I’m glad that Edelgard is having this. There are a few issues I’d like to bring up.” Hubert stopped him with a hand on the arm, Ferdinand turned to stare. “Is something wrong?”

Hubert frowned at him. “That's it? No personal greetings? Are you alright?”

“What?” He moved his arm and Hubert lets his hand fall. “I’m fine. This is a meeting, yes? There’s little time for this.” Hubert’s gaze flickered for a moment. It’s all Ferdinand needed to see what Hubert had done. “Hubert.”

“Yes?”

Ferdinand pinched the bridge of his nose, “You cannot mean to tell me I’ve travelled all the way here only to find out that there’s no meeting.”

“It would seem that is the case.” Hubert said. “But we have some time to talk now that you’re here.”

Angry, Ferdinand turned on his heel and stormed back towards the door. “You really think that’s what will happen? You and Edelgard lie to me and I go along with it? I’m leaving, this is a complete waste of-” He pulled on the handle only for it nothing to happen. “Hubert.”

“My, how unfortunate. I wonder how that could have possibly happened.”

Ferdinand looked over his shoulder to glare at Hubert, who’s sitting at the table. Hubert merely shrugged at him, playing innocent.

“You are being childish.” He needs to get back so he can work. “And we both have far better things to be doing than this.”

“Maybe.” Hubert replied easily. “But I believe Her Majesty’s orders overrule anything we may be doing.”

Ferdinand’s brow furrowed, “What-”

“I’m not letting you out anytime soon, Ferdinand.” Edelgard’s voice came from the other side of the door. Ferdinand gaped at it in betrayal. “Be a good boy and play nice.”

“Edelgard, this is a gross misuse of your power!” He shouted, banging a hand on the door. The muffled snickering only serves to make him angrier. “Edelgard!”

“This is the meeting I called you here for,” She said. “And it’s mandatory. Goodbye.” He listened to her footsteps walk away. 

“Surely it’s not too terrible to be stuck here with me?” Hubert said. 

Eyes wide, Ferdinand realized what this is. Hubert and Edelgard had planned this. He whirled and pointed a finger at Hubert, who’s brows went up. “You’re going to kill me, aren’t you?!”

Hubert blinked. “What?”

“That’s what this is!” It made sense. Hubert’s finally done with him and ready to end the Aegir bloodline. No doubt Edelgard too. “You’ve got me alone so there’s no witnesses!”

Hubert rose from his seat. “Flames, Ferdinand, I’m not going to _kill_ you. Calm down.” 

“I bet that’s what you say to all your victims!” He jostles the door handle again, terrified when it remains firmly shut.

Hubert took cautious steps, advancing on Ferdinand, who felt very much like a cornered mouse. “Ferdinand, what’s wrong?”

“What’s wrong?” He repeated, voice rising in pitch. “Why would anything be wrong?”

“Because you’re accusing me of trying to kill you and it doesn’t sound like you’re joking.”

Ferdinand pressed his back against the door, palms against the wood. “What else could this be? We’re alone. You’re a, a super assassin!”

“What is wrong with you?” Hubert demanded, “You really think we called you here so I could kill you?”

“Isn’t that what you do?” His voice is getting hysterical. “Oh, Goddess-”

“Ferdinand-” Hubert tried to speak.

“I knew it -”

“Ferd-”

“- you think -”

The smack resounded around the room, and Ferdinand brought a hand up to his cheek. Hubert had the decency to look a little ashamed by his actions. “You hit me.” Ferdinand said, numb.

“You needed to calm down.” Hubert told him, eyes tight. “I’m sorry, but you were losing it.”

Ferdinand’s vision blurred, so he put more of his weight onto the door. “Yes, yes. I think you might be right. Goddess, I’ve made a fool of myself, haven’t I?”

This is normally where Hubert says something like ‘No more than usual,’ but instead, he squinted at Ferdinand, lips pulled down. “When did you last sleep?”

“Uh. Last night.” 

Hubert’s quirked brow showed just how impressed he was by that. Which is to say, not at all. “That was the worst attempt at lying I’ve ever seen.”

Ferdinand swallowed, averting his eyes. “2 days ago.”

“Try being honest, maybe.”

“Could you give me a little space?” Ferdinand blurted, “You’re, you’re making me nervous.” Hubert only leant in closer. “Hubert!”

“You’re delirious.” He said, “You need sleep.”

That would explain why he thought Hubert would kill him. Which he’s still not sure is entirely out of the question. “Oh.”

Hubert nudged him out of the way of the door, pulling out a key and unlocking it. “I’m taking you to my room.”

“Not that this makes my theory any more believable,” Ferdinand told him, “But by taking me to your room, it makes it easier for you to dispose of a body.”

“It’s also the perfect place for me to make sure you stay in bed.” He countered. Ferdinand supposed there were worse ways to die. 

\---

Heart beating wildly, Ferdinand sat up, back straight. He ran a hand through his hair, sighing. _‘I’m getting sick of having that damned dream.’_

“Bad dream?” Someone asked from next to him.

Ferdinand jumped and scooted back from the noise, only to find Hubert sitting on the edge of the bed next to him. His hand is on Ferdinand’s shoulder. “Hubert? What-“

“You’re in my room. In the Palace.” Hubert interrupted. He eyed Ferdinand. “Feeling any better?

Remembering his freak out in the meeting room, Ferdinand nodded, too embarrassed to say anything else. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s in the past.” The hand on his shoulder squeezed. “Your nightmare sounded bad.”

Ferdinand draws the blankets tighter around him. _‘He’ll think you pathetic, Ferdie.’_

Hubert watched him. He twists his body to where he can face Ferdinand more fully on the bed.

A hand entered his field of vision again. Hubert waited, patient. Ferdinand sighed before taking it. To his surprise, Hubert used his hand to drag Ferdinand closer, until he’s nestled against Hubert’s chest. 

Arms moved around him and Hubert is running his hands up and down his back slowly. Ferdinand is incredibly embarrassed by all of this. In fact, it just might be the most embarrassing thing that’s ever happened to him. 

But it’s also helping him calm down, so maybe he can allow it. 

Just this once.

“This is…” Ferdinand trailed off. Hubert said nothing, merely holding him.

It’s after a few minutes, when Ferdinand had regained most of his footing, he tried to move away. Hubert’s arms tightened in response. “Ferdinand,” Hubert says, “What did you dream about?”

Ferdinand stilled. Swallowed. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Ferdinand-“

“Hubert, please.” His voice cracks. “Please, I - Surely you can see that I am ashamed enough as it is? Do not make me speak of it.”

Hubert shifted, pulling away slightly to where they can look at each other. “Ashamed?”

“I…” he fiddled with the blanket, feeling unsure. “Can I… ask you a question?” At Hubert’s nod, he continued. “Do you…” Ferdinand squeezed his eyes shut. He hates how much his hands are shaking. _‘Pathetic.’_

He took a deep breath. “Do you think I’m like my father?”

The silence is deafening. Each second that passed caused parts of Ferdinand to wither away. _‘This is it,’_ he thought, _‘He’ll tell you that’s exactly what he thinks, that you’re doomed to go down the same path he did. That you've already started going down that path.'_

“Ferdinand, you’re nothing like your father.” Hubert said instead. “Do you honestly mean to tell me you think you’re turning out like him?”

Ferdinand suppressed a sob, hating this entire situation. “I…”

More silence. Hands settled over his shoulders. “Ferdinand, open your eyes.”

Ferdinand shut them harder. He felt like a petulant child. “No.”

Thumbs rub at his neck. He wants to cry even more. “Ferdie.”

Ferdinand opened them, blinking a couple times to clear his blurry vision. Hubert’s face is upset, jaw clenched and lips pinched. “What makes you think you’re anything like your father?”

Ferdinand doesn’t want to think about it, and he sure doesn’t want to tell Hubert about it. Hubert must see him shutting down because his frown worsens. “Ferdinand, you have to tell me what’s wrong.”

“I’m tired.” He said. It’s the only way out of this, and even then it’s only temporary. Ferdinand knows Hubert. He’ll get him to answer soon, even if he’s leaving him be for now.

He’s right. Hubert let go and gently pushed Ferdinand back onto the bed. “You might get another nightmare.”

“I know.” But Ferdinand is tired. He hasn’t been in bed since he’d gotten sick, the only sleep he got being restless naps at his desk. He reached out and grabbed Hubert’s wrist. “Would you… stay here with me?”

Hubert pauses, green eyes flickering over Ferdinand. “You _want_ me to stay?”

_‘Idiot’_ Goddess, he’s a fool. He lets go of Hubert only for fingers to snake around his hand. He stared at Hubert, whose expression was unreadable.

“You want me to stay?” Hubert asked again, gentler this time. It’s still rough in the way Hubert is, but soft where it mattered.

Maybe it’s because of how tired he still is, or maybe it’s because he’s still shaken from the nightmare, but he doesn’t want Hubert far away. 

Another thing he’d let slip, perhaps. He’s a weak man.

“I would appreciate it.” Ferdinand said. And like that, Hubert is settling into bed next to him. 

They lay next to each other. Ferdinand feels awkward. He made this awkward. “I’m sorry.”

“For what?” 

_‘This was stupid of me to ask you.’_ “This is highly improper.”

Hubert inhaled sharply. “I couldn’t care less about how proper this is.” He said. “What I care about is how you’re doing. If this helps, I’ll gladly do it.”

Ferdinand has spent many a moment being jealous of the utter devotion Hubert gave Edelgard, but now that he’s seeing even a fraction of it he’s no idea how to respond. It’s overwhelming and it doesn’t even feel like that much.

“I don’t mean to make you uncomfortable.” Hubert said once the silence went on for too long.

“I’m the one who asked you to stay, didn’t I?” He looked up at the ceiling. “If anything, I’ve made you the uncomfortable one.”

A sigh, “You’ve made me feel many things over the years, Ferdinand, but uncomfortable has never been one of them.”

That made him laugh. It’s not a happy one. “I fear that might change.”

A hand grabbed his, fingers interweaving with his hesitantly. “No,” Hubert murmured. “It won’t.”

\---

When he woke up, he’s halfway on top of Hubert. He tensed, face flushed in embarrassment when a hand combs through his hair. Ferdinand face burned more. 

“You’re awake.” Hubert said. He sounded like he’d been awake for a while. “I trust you’re doing better.”

“Uh.” Is all Ferdinand can manage. 

The hand stopped. Ferdinand mourns the loss of the feeling immediately. “Is this…”

“This is fine!” He said, “Just. Um. Not what I expected.” _‘Great job, Ferdinand. Idiot.’_

“... I see.” Hubert murmured after a few seconds. “Ferdinand, why have you been working yourself to where you collapse?”

Ferdinand stiffened. “How do you know about that?”

“One of your staff had the good thought to contact me. He was worried about you.”

That drew a smile out of him. “They’re good people.”

“Yes,” Hubert agreed. “He also informed me of how you had your staff completely disregard all letters of personal nature so you could focus on work.” The disapproval is clear. “Ferdinand, do you have any idea of how concerned we all were?”

‘You shouldn’t be concerned,’ he thought. “I… didn’t think it would matter.” He admitted. “Hubert, I know what my father did. He kept records of it there.”

It’s quiet between them before the bed shifts as Hubert sat up. Ferdinand moves off of him, and they face each other. Hubert’s brows are pulled together. “You think we blame you for what your father did?”

His mouth is dry. “I allowed it to happen. I should have stopped him.”

“Ferdinand,” Hubert said seriously, “You blame yourself for what he did?”

“It’s my responsibility to make up for it.” He shifted in the bed, fingers clenching in the sheets. “Along with the damage Aegir sustained during the war, I have a lot to make up for.”

“None of us blame you for what your father did. You’ve more than proven yourself.” Hubert’s eyes narrowed as he looked over Ferdinand. “What made you think otherwise?”

“I take it that wasn’t included in the letter?” He sighed and looked up at the ceiling. “It doesn’t really matter now.”

“It hurt you.” Hubert insisted. “It matters. Tell me.”

Hubert would just find out anyway. “A woman came by, a commoner.” The ceiling is very interesting. It’s also far easier to face than Hubert. “Told me I was just as bad as him.”

“What?” Ferdinand flinched at the angry tone. Hubert took a deep breath before speaking again, calmer this time. “And you believed her?”

“It made sense.”

“You’re an idiot if you seriously think you have anything more in common with that man other than a last name.”

“The people of Aegir had suffered throughout the war, thanks to my negligence.” 

Hubert’s jaw flexes, “If you remember, you weren’t Prime Minister during the war. No one was. That territory belonged to the Emperor.”

“But I was raised to rule it, Hubert! I should have tried to do something to help-”

“That would have been treason.”

“Another thing me and my father have in common, I suppose.” Ferdinand snapped. “After what he did to Edelgard, how can you stand to be around me? How can _she_ stand to be around me?”

Hubert stared at him. Then he reached for Ferdinand’s hand and gripped it. “Ferdinand, we fought that war to free Fódland from the type of idealogy that people were bound by their station. Why would we judge you based on something we don’t believe in?”

“But what he did-”

“Wasn’t done by you,” Hubert cut him off. “Is that why you haven’t been responding to anyone?”

“I…” He squeezed Hubert’s hand for comfort, “In the Academy, none of you liked me. The only time any of you really looked at me was during the war. I was back to the way I was before.”

“We didn’t know you during the Academy, Ferdinand.” Hubert said, “And Edelgard and I were far more preoccupied on our plans than being nice to you, I’m sorry to say.”

“But…”

“Ferdie,” The use of the nickname silenced him, “I’ve done you a disservice if you thought I hated you.”

“You did, once.” Ferdinand weakly reminded him. 

“I thought you were annoying. I didn’t hate you.” Hubert said. “And then I saw you again, and you were...” He hesitated, looking down at their hands, “You’d always been confident, but you seemed happy, guiding your men into battle. It was harder for me to find you as anything but...”

When Hubert doesn’t continue, Ferdinand asked, “But?” When he remained silent, Ferdinand grew concerned. “Hubert?”

“I thought I was being obvious when I practically begged you to come to Enbarr,” He said instead of finishing. “Instead, you isolated yourself, miles away to where I couldn’t reach you.” Hubert’s eyes are pained, the skin bunched around them, “I didn’t even know you were suffering like this, Ferdinand. And you come here, thinking I want to _kill_ you.”

“Can we blame that on my lack of sleep?” 

“You thought everyone despised you, Ferdinand. That’s not-“ He cut himself off. “I know you must want to go back to Aegir, seeing as you want to directly oversee the relief efforts, but I don’t think you should.”

Ferdinand didn’t think he could return to that atmosphere after this. Not after being here, with Hubert. “No, I shouldn’t.”

“It’s not good for-“ Hubert stopped mid-sentence. It reminded him of the first time they exchanged drinks. Goddess, that felt like ages ago. “You... you agree?”

“For once, I think I’ll refrain from arguing.” Ferdinand sighed, “Being in that house did nothing good for me. I kept...” His free hand fisted up, “I kept seeing the same mannerism’s my father had in what I did. You’re right. I should stay here. At the very least, I’ll be happier.”

“I hope so,” Hubert’s thumb ran over his knuckles. “Ferdie, I... When you stopped responding, I thought I had scared you off with my letters. Then I learned it wasn’t just me you weren’t speaking to, but everyone.”

“What did you write?”

Hubert froze, “I, ah,” he coughed, “I think it would be easier for you to read, given the rule.”

_‘The rule?’_ Ferdinand’s face scrunched up, “What rule?”

Hubert shifted, appearing uncomfortable, “The, ah, complimenting rule.”

“Why would that matter? How would a few compliments scare me off?” Ferdinand wished he had the letters with him, if only to see what Hubert was talking about. He didn’t give praise easily.

“It wasn’t just a few,” Hubert said. “You being so far was strange, I think it made me bolder. It was easier for me to write when I didn’t have to fear you coming to find me.”

“You’re making it sound like you insulted me, Hubert.” 

Hubert shook his head, “My apologies, I phrased it poorly. I tend to do that when I’m around you.” He gave a wry smile, “I suppose the rule works out for me as well, if only so I don’t put my foot in my mouth.”

Ferdinand considered going back to retrieve the letters when he remembered all the _other_ letters he’d received aside from Hubert’s. Goddess, Lorenz was going to strangle him the next time he visited. He let go of Hubert’s hand and got off the bed, “Sothis preserve me, I ignored so much mail. I have to go back and get it all!” He heard the bed move as Hubert stood up.

“Have someone else send it.” Hubert offered. “I’d like it if you stayed.”

It clicked in his mind, the way Hubert had been acting, the compliment rule, it seemed so obvious in hindsight. “Oh, Hubert.” He sighed out, fondness seeping through his tone.

“Figured it out, have you?” Ferdinand nodded, turning back to face Hubert. Before n. “Frankly, I should be happy it took you so long.”

“I’m not happy about that,” He whispered, cupping Hubert’s jaw, “I wish I’d figured it out before any of this happened.”

To his delight, Hubert leaned into his touch. “That would have saved both of us quite a bit of grief, I think.” He holds Ferdinand’s hand to his face. After a minute, Hubert turned and pressed a kiss to his palm. “Please, stay.”

“Did I not ask you to do that last night?” Ferdinand asked. Hubert nodded. “And what did you do?”

“I stayed.”

“Why would I do anything different for you?” He asked, “Hubert, I’ve done a poor job at showing how much I love you this past day, but I there’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you. Asking me to stay is easy.”

“So… Enbarr?” Hubert said against his palm, “No more ignoring everyone?”

Ferdinand knows it will take time before he can fully separate himself from his father and that he won’t ever be able to enjoy being called ‘Duke Aegir’ by people, but it’s not as bad as he thought. There are things he has to fix, one of the first being writing everyone to assure them that he hasn’t died in an unfortunate accident. But his friends don’t look at him and see his father. 

That’s what’s important. 

He still feels that he has to make up for what his father had done. Ferdinand doubts that will ever change, even when he no longer blames himself for the atrocities he’d committed. But standing here with Hubert makes him hope again.

Happy. 

“I love you,” Ferdinand said.

He felt Hubert smile against his palm, “And I, you.”

**Author's Note:**

> this was supposed to be a lot shorter but the boys like talking 
> 
> hope yall enjoyed uwu
> 
> [my twitter!](https://twitter.com/Diddlydang1)


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